Have you ever met people who seem able to stay positive, in the face of adversity? They find the upside. They re-frame things, changing negative descriptions of situations into positive ones. Here are some suggestions of ways to do this.
These suggestions are derived from tips proposed by Marshall Goldsmith.
- Don’t dwell on the past. What’s done is done. Hindsight is a wonderful thing but of limited use in the present. You can learn from the past later when you reflect on actions taken. Right now, you need to focus on creating your future.
- Recent challenges and mistakes make you better. They present opportunities to learn and grow stronger. Be grateful for understanding what really matters to you.
- If you have a job, recognise that there are a lot of people out there who are much worse off. All the little things that may bother you don’t need to matter anymore.
- You have time to invest in your future. Use it to do what you always wanted to do. Be glad to have a chance to do this.
- Love your work. If you work independently, there may be times when you need to cut your fees. Who cares? You can still love what you are doing and be grateful for the opportunity to to do that.
- Cherish the people close to you – be they family or friends. Do whatever you can to help each other. Love and support is important when times are tough.
Get real – the 3 As
Great suggestions but how realistic is it that you will do these things, when you bump up against hard times? How do you make this real for you?
Like all change, it starts with awareness – self-awareness! Know thyself. Recognise yourself, your actions and your situation. If you can’t get a good perspective on these things – ask a trusted friend for their view.
The next step is to accept the way you are. I suppose, you have to “own it”. Things are the way they are. You are who you are. Like it or not – your acceptance of yourself and your taking responsibility for the way you are, is critical to the next step.
Change is achieved through action. By actively choosing your behaviour and decision-making, you can choose how you respond to challenges and adversity.
Changing your behaviour is not straightforward, logical or linear. It is cyclic, iterative and unpredictable. There is a lot of forwards and backwards, standing still, sometimes progressing fast, sometimes slow. Being willing to stay with your own personal change process is important to successfully dealing with whatever is served up to you.