In the 21st Century, a common theme for everyone is anxiety. We are anxious about change, about the future, about ourselves, about others. It seems unavoidable. But … there is hope …
Anxiety is one of those things that just pops up when you least expect it. Those that seem in control of themselves and their destiny, can become unhinged in the blink of an eye or the flap of a wing of a butterfly. These seemingly unknowable and unpredictable events can bring us undone. Unless you have a strategy …
Three tips for your own anxiety conquering strategy:
- Ground yourself
Sometimes you need to “ground yourself” in your physical reality as opposed to dealing with the reality in your mind. Touch things – make physical contact with objects close to you. Perhaps things made of wood or stone appeal to you more? You may find you need to carry something with you that has a special significance for you (e.g., a picture of you looking peaceful and relaxed). Other “grounding techniques” that may resonate with you like counting objects of a certain colour or saying the alphabet backward. The purpose of these suggestions is to bring your to the here and now. It’s a kind of realty check.
The use of your breath can help bring fresh air to your circumstances. Think about your breath. Breathing in and out can be like waves arising from the belly of the ocean and breaking on the shore.Notice the waves gently crashing against the shore. Sometimes the waves are bigger and stronger; sometimes smoother and gentler. Like breath, the waves are always there. In essence it is another grounding technique.
Sometimes, analysing your thoughts may help reduce the intensity of emotions.
Write down what is happening:- my friend rejected me
– I feel depressed, hopeless, powerless
– nobody loves me, I will die aloneThen analyse your automatic thoughts.
What is the evidence that you will die alone or are unlovable?
Is there any evidence to the contrary?
Is it possible that you are thinking this way because your friend rejected you?
Could thinking this way make it more difficult for you to find friends?
Do this regularly and see how it influences your mental health.
It may be that these techniques may not help. Each is designed to give you a way of deconstructing the anxiety experience. It is an experience to be managed rather than controlled. It is do-able and requires commitment to yourself to overcome the down sides to the experience.
Take care of yourself. Resilience is built through finding ways of managing in these situations. If you cannot manage this alone, get support from trusted friends around you.